Wake Me Up When September Ends...

Please.

So one thing about me is that I hate change, it makes me nervous.

September is a month full of changes for me, a new supervisor, going back to school, and of course not too new but working on my weight loss.

One of my supervisors at work got promoted, congrats to her... but ehhhh now they are looking for someone to replace her position. I worry, what if they don't like me? what if I don't like them? what if they are a hard ass and won't give me time off? ahhhhh so many different things...

School. Well I took a year and a half off of school, and now I'm going back. I kept changing my major and what I want to do, its a huge decision to make you know? Paying so much for an education so I can get a job that I'll have for the rest of my life. Scary. I've decided on Library Science, yes, I want to be a librarian. Unfortunately my GPA at the local community college is really in shambles from when I wasn't taking school seriously. As a result I can't get financial aid and I have to pay for my own classes which is really taking a toll on my finances, lame! Luckily I only have to make up 3 classes to bolster my GPA, this first semester I'm tackling my arch Nemesis... MATH.

Math and I have a love hate relationship... sisth grade was my best year for math. I had an amazing teacher that made math so clear to me. It made sense and I excelled, I even tutored other kids! After that I was put in accelerated classes, and that's where it fell apart. Classes went too fast, I couldn't keep up and I fell behind. It's been that way ever since.

So now with this class I'm worried. What if I fall behind? what if I just don't get it? What if I fail miserably a can't get up my GPA to get financial aid and progress toward a degree and my future career? What if this stupid class is my down fall???? I'm so far behind as it is, so many of my friends are already graduating, it's frustrating.

Lastly my weight. I'm eating the best I can, I've lost a total of 15.8lbs as of last Wednesday. I know slow and sure is the best way to lose weight... channel the turtle, CHANNEL THE TURTLE!!!!!!!!!! even though I have lost a good amount of weight, I'm nowhere near my goal and sometimes I just get discouraged about how its taking so long. My pants still fit the same, I haven't really noticed any change in my body. I don't know if it's just because I'm me and I can't tell... but HONESTLY, how long does it take to lose a pant size?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? shouldn't I notice something by now? Also I have this fear that when I finally do lose the weight I'll end up having gross redundant skin left over, that would seriously be awful! The more I buckle down, the more I notice some people seem to be less supportive. Maybe its in my head but I've heard murmuring about how I won't eat certain foods that people may have made. It's annoying.

Basically I can't wait until the end of September, by then I'll adjusted to all of these new things, and see how far I will have come weight, work, and school wise.